Why People Stay in Contact with Exes

Ohana Magazine – Breaking up is often seen as a clean break, a fresh start where individuals cut all ties, delete numbers, and move on. However, reality paints a more complicated picture. Many people find it difficult to fully disconnect from their exes. A recent survey by The Matchmaking Company revealed that 66% of respondents continued communicating with some of their exes, while 28% of Gen Z admitted to staying in touch with most or all of their former partners. These numbers challenge the idea of a clean break and reflect the complexities of modern relationships.

Emotional Ties that Don’t Fade Away

One of the main reasons people don’t sever ties with their exes immediately after a breakup is the emotional connection. The bond formed through years of shared experiences, conversations, and comfort doesn’t simply disappear when a relationship ends. According to therapist Nari Jeter, many people hope to remain friends, feel trapped in old habits, or secretly wish to reconcile. This emotional attachment often delays the healing process, making it harder to fully embrace new relationships.

The Struggles of Moving On

When emotional ties remain intact, the process of moving on becomes complicated. Keeping in touch with an ex can prevent someone from fully accepting the end of the relationship. It can also create a barrier to moving forward with a new partner. The survey also revealed that more than two-thirds of respondents felt uncomfortable if their partner remained close with their ex, and 57% admitted to comparing their current partner with their ex. This behavior can prevent true emotional growth and intimacy in a new relationship.

The Digital Age: Social Media and Its Impact

In today’s digital world, it’s harder than ever to truly cut ties with an ex. Social media has blurred the lines between private and public life, making it difficult to escape the presence of former partners. “In the past, when you broke up, you didn’t know where they were, or who they were interacting with,” Jeter explained. Today, platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and even Twitter make it easy to keep track of someone, whether intentionally or unintentionally. This constant visibility can make it more challenging to completely move on.

Cultural Shifts and the Modern View on Relationships

In many cultures, staying friends with an ex is seen as a sign of maturity or a healthy relationship. However, this view can complicate the healing process. Constant interaction with an ex can prevent individuals from fully experiencing the emotional release necessary to heal and embrace new relationships. Moreover, the fear of being seen as unable to “move on” might pressure some to maintain contact even when it’s no longer beneficial for their emotional well-being.

The Psychological Effects of Keeping in Touch

From a psychological perspective, staying in contact with an ex can hinder personal growth. When individuals constantly interact with their exes, they may not give themselves the space needed to reflect and grow independently. This could lead to feelings of guilt, confusion, and even anxiety, as the person may struggle with unresolved emotions. It’s important for individuals to understand that letting go is not a sign of weakness but a necessary step towards emotional freedom and healing.